I just cut my lip... on ice cream.

So the McCain campaign unleashed yet another over-the-top venom spewing lie on the public today. If John McCain equates teaching our children to protect themselves from inappropriate sexual behavior to "sex education" and hence denounces Obama for it, I suppose we can follow the accusation all the way through. Let's give it a try, shall we? If McCain doesn't believe we should be teaching our children what is innapropriate and to protect themselves from predators is wrong, are we to conclude that John McCain supports pedophiles?

Well, the nature of a blog is that it is at least at the onset of a post a one-way deal. Here's what I hope you're thinking at this point, "Oh my goodness, that's just so over the top. You should be ashamed of yourself for suggesting such a thing!"

To which I would reply, "That, my friend, is exactly the point I'm trying to make."

I have two young children myself and I think the notion of not teaching them to report such behavior is reprehensible. Once again, shame on you, McCain/Palin. Your tactics are revolting and trite. God help us if the American people fail to see through your ignorant slander and we usher in another four years of errorism.

John McCain gets Barack-rolled!

If we're not vigilant, this could be the next president of our United States.

*cringe*

I have a problem.

It's more like a sickness, if you get right down to it. I have some strain of OCD. I would like nothing more than to assure you, gentle reader (do people read this blog?), that it is not a severe strain but I am not so certain. I suppose I do not suffer from "full blown OCD" in the classical sense. You are not likely to find me straightening pictures in a hotel lobby. I'm not prone to fits of alphabetizing and color-sorting sugar packets at the local IHOP (my daughter is in charge of those.) However I do get a feeling of ants crawling across my brain when I see language bastardized in any way.

This affliction of mine (and do not think for a minute it is anything less) has caused a number of awkward situations to arise in both my personal and professional life. When I see a misspelling, typo, or grammatical faux pas, I am physically unable to keep quiet about it. I find myself squirming in high level management meetings, growling in movie theatres, and verbally red-lining the people closest to me. Whether it is socially acceptable or not to do so, I must point out the error(s) to anyone who will listen to me. As you might imagine, more often than not this "service" goes unappreciated. I would go so far as to say it is probably downright irritating to others. Nevertheless, even knowing this, I cannot sit comfortably in my own skin if I can't correct the mistake or at the very least grouse about it.

I had some time to reflect on this as I drove to work this morning, following a Scion with a backwards kanji 'AI' sticker on the back. Seeing it made my skin crawl. It occupied my mind the whole way to work and it collected lint in the spin-dry cycle of my mind throughout the day. I know it's neurotic, but I thought perhaps by sharing my irrational state of mind with the world I might know some relief. Now that I'm done, all I feel is ridiculous. :)

Muppet Bloopers!

Wii me!

If you have a Wii, please add me as a Wii buddy (or whatever the heck it's called) so our Miis can invade one another's personal space!

My Wii ID# 5989 7269 4422 6855

You suck at WoW acronyms. You do. I know you're too shy to ask what the hell PoM, AoE, and WotF are supposed to be. That's okay, this link will drop some knowledge on your noob noggin.

The guys

Jeff, Justin (Daddy), and Kevin
Originally uploaded by mahoukame

So yeah... it was a "baby shower" and all, but it was a good excuse to get together and see my friends (outside of WoW for a change) for a while.

Thanks to everyone who came and thanks for all the cool gifts for Sebastian!

Kevin, Jeff, Henry, and Garess

Daddy's friends - Kevin, Jeff, Henry, and Garess
Originally uploaded by mahoukame

I gotta get Crysis...

Happy Evaluate Your Life Day!

Jeez. Heavy.

All right, I can do this. I'm in my mid-thirties, I have a wonderful family. I have an amazing wife and a loveable daughter. I enjoy my job and the people I work with. I see my friends mostly while playing Warcraft these days. My dad's doing well as a teacher and has a good homelife and that's important to me. My brother is an overqualified, underappreciated store manager. I'd be exponentially happier if he'd move closer and hang out with me more. I'm expecting to start my parenting skills anew with rugrat-to-be in April. My health isn't the best, but I'm maintaining better than I have in years gone by. I'm actively working to reduce my environmental impact on the planet and I still haven't beaten Halo 3. I'm pretty happy with how things are going. Things ahead of me:

· be a good husband, father, brother, son, nephew, friend, business partner
· translate more
· get master's degree
· home improvement
· write a book
· drink a beer with LaDainian Tomlinson
· draw a comic
· get an epic flying mount (HA!)

Happy Shave Your Beard Day!

Now that I got that out of the way... (No, that's not me in the picture. Freaky though, huh?) I only maintain about 1/8" stubble (damn I'm rugged) so I couldn't really participate in the day's festivities in a literal sense. In lieu of scraping facial follicles, I offer up one of my private embarassing childhood moments. Don't ask me why, but I seem to find it cathartic to tell these to the entire world, allowing you to laugh at my expense and further hinder my prospects of running for public office. Please to enjoy.

I like to believe I'm a fairly intelligent and creative person.

Okay, I also like other people to believe it as well. In fact, I will admit on some level to needing others to believe it. I take obsessively take IQ tests. I pipe in (invited or otherwise) on trivial topics. I've even begun to score points vicariously through my genius daughter (*ahem* she is a prodigy.) I feed off of positive feedback in this area, to a certain degree. Insecure? When I consider my motivation as an adult for being a card-wielding member of Mensa, I confess that it is reminiscent of my childhood urge to be the first to raise my hand and smugly blurt out the answer. (Never mind the fact that other kids were never in "awe" of this behavior. More often than not, it inspired revulsion, not respect. After all, until you use your brain to win the jackpot on Jeopardy, no one likes a know-it-all.)

There. I came out and said it. That's my big character flaw. Well, maybe not THE character flaw. I know I have plenty more. I just don't feel like sharing those with you today. :)

Anyway, the reason I launched into this rant about my constant need for validation was to write about a particularly ridiculous example from my childhood. I can't be sure how old I was at the time, but I'm pretty sure it was around 5th grade. I wrote a poem on the Commodore 128. Errr... it wasn't an ode to the 128 (I wasn't that geeky), I just mean I composed it on the computer.

The poem was, no doubt, the mediocre ramblings of a pre-teen about darkness and the like. I printed it out and set it aside. When my father stumbled across it, he was curious about the content. In trying to recall the poem, I do remember it was titled, "The Void" and was fairly morose. Seeing the scene in my memory with the comprehension of a 33 year old father, I can see why he was asking. I didn't want to get into a psychoanalytical rap session with my dad so I blurted that it was for a school project and the topic was predetermined. I sincerely doubt he believed a word of it, but he let it go for the time being.

When I came home from school the next day, I returned to my poem with a marker and scribbled a sloppy A+ on the page and left it conspicuously in sight.

When my father saw it, he couldn't have possibly believed it was legitimate. In my attempts to avoid using my own handwriting for the "score", I used my left hand and wrote very slowly. The resulting A+ would have been plausible were it scribed by Stephen Hawking or my 2-year-old cousin. My dad simply smiled, rustled my hair, and said "great job, Justin!" He then stuck it on the refrigerator for my mom (and the world, it seems) to see.

Moments like these are like money in the piggy bank for fathers. The fact that my dad indulged his nihilistic and pathological boy rather than point out just how smart he was by seeing through the ruse just shows how emotionally intelligent he really could be for his loved ones.

I, on the other hand, was mortified. I exposed my darker broodings and then lied to cover them up! Now my weird visceral whinings were put on display to remind me of what I did. Who uses a computer to bare their soul to the world like that? (Pause for irony)



(I took the poem down before my mom came home.)

Happy Presidential Joke Day!

Wow... how do you celebrate a day like this when our president himself is a joke?

The day is intended to be a day paying tribute to presidents making jokes, not making jokes about presidents. It started this day in 1984, when then president Ronald Reagan was making his regular Saturday radio address. Just beforehand, he was doing a mic test, thinking that it wasn't live. His joke was as follows:

"My fellow Americans, I am pleased to tell you I just signed legislation which outlaws Russia forever. The bombing begins in five minutes."

Lo and behold, his feed was broadcast live. This is the origin of Presidential Joke day. I wish the impact our current bumbling commander-in-chief is having on the lives of our troops and their families wasn't so grave that we couldn't actually enjoy a good chuckle at his expense.

Happy Lazy Da--*yawn*

Today is Lazy Day! In honor of the day, I wasn't going to write much, not to mention the fact that I'm in Las Vegas with my wife and we're waiting for the doors to open to see the Blue Man Group(!), but then I saw that it is also National S'mores Day.

I don't eat S'mores. I love 'em. But I don't eat 'em. Anyway, Kaylee still eats 'em and more power to you if YOU eat 'em!

Happy Book Lover Day!

Today is Book Lover Day! Not a crazy holiday or anything. Just a run-of-the-mill day of observance for the love of books.

I certainly consider myself a book lover. I'm currently reading "Bad Omens" by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, two of my favorite wordslingers.

I wonder if my wife will let me get this chair...

Happy Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Without Him Noticing Day!

Ah yes... Sneak Some Zucchini Onto Your Neighbor's Porch Without Him Noticing Day... What a gem! I wonder if I can convince my neighbors that Monday is Sneak Some Steak Onto Your Neighbor's Grill and Cook it for Him day?

Happy Sea Serpent Day!

That's right, ladies and gentlemen! Today is Sea Serpent Day!

Take a moment to reflect on the diva Nessie, the humble oarfish, or even the world-encompassing Norse Jörmungandr (Midgårdsormen to his friends.)

I don't know about you, but I feel like celebrating by sitting down with Viking Women and the Sea Serpent and a bowl of unagi-don!

Happy Wiggle Your Toes Day!

No kiddin', folks. August 6th is National Wiggle Your Toes Day.

If you're a diabetic like me, I guess it's a good opportunity to be thankful if you still have toes you can wiggle.

Bah, I know how to turn even a lighthearted nonsensical day of goofy observance into a downer. I'm going to take a picture of my daughter's toes and post them on her website to lift my spirits. :)

Wrath of the Lich King!

Heroes and Death Knights... oh my! I better hurry up and hit 70!

Yeah, yeah... rumors and scuttlebut. I'm not above such things. :P

I created a Yelp account so now I can criticize stuff with all my hypercritical friends! C'mon, you join in!

[Jott from Justin Burns] This is Justin, testing out my blogging with Jott.

Jott From Justin Burns

This is Justin, testing out my blogging with Jott.

Listen to Audio

Brought to you by Jott Networks, Inc.

Yay! I'm a moblogger!

FEAR

What am I afraid of? Hmm... It's going to sound pompous, but hear me out. I'm most afraid of the atrophy of my grey matter. I'm not touting my own brain as the greatest natural resource available to the 21st century or anything. It's just a scary interpretation of the second law of thermodynamics.

The more I learn about the rate of degradation to the human brain through aging, the more I dread laying my head down on the pillow each night. Knowing that I will wake up each day with fewer brain cells and functional synapses is knee-knockingly terrifying.

*sigh*

So I'm driving home from work today, and this guy's (arrogant) bumper sticker reads,

"My best vacation is your worst nightmare."

Say what? His dream vacation is showing up naked to his SATs? Dude, that's just not right.

Who says Warcraft players never get laid?

(Oh okay, it's pretty creepy...)

I'm really excited about Google's new Extreme Map view!

Wow... I actually got on stage with an IT rock star. This is the keynote address by Pat Gelsinger from Intel at Symantec Vision 2007.

(I join in at 31:10.) :)